Spirituality - Post-Mormon

If this is the first page of this website that you have seen, I suggest that you read the summary on the Spirituality page to gain an understanding of why this website exists, and for some assistance in deciding what to read.

If you are tired of the usual ex-mormon rants (I hope that is not what I am doing, but some may perceive it that way), you might find "Out of My Faith" an interesting read. Also, some of the shorter, more creative pieces (found in the "Creative Writing, Short Stories and Poetry" section) and the essays respecting "renaissance", "metaphor games" and "perspective" may be more appealing to those who are still firmly connected to Mormonism.

I am told that, in particular, the "First Letter to Elder Holland" and the essays titled "Religious Belief: Enlightening or Blinding?", "Out of My Faith" and "Do Smart Mormons Make Mormonism True?" have been helpful to many people who have visited here. And, in the various pieces titled "Dialogue with My Daughter" I have attempted to summarize in more accessible form some of the concepts that are developed in greater detail in some of my longer essays. The long essays were, as noted above, mostly learning or therapeutic exercises for me that I have preserved. A friend who edits a newspaper calls my long essays "scaffolding" - the kind of notes writers make to themselves as they are getting ready to publish something. That, in my view, is a fair description. And perhaps some day I will be prepared to do the extra work required to publish something. For the time being, this will have to do.

Long (16+ pages)

Out of my Faith (178 pages; includes a 4 page abstract) – This is my meandering, ongoing effort to reorientate myself in spiritual terms. The research and writing that has gone into this and some of the other documents that follow have produced some of the most exciting, wonderful moments of my life. There is so much more of the good and beautiful around me than I had been able to see.

How Denial Works - Denial in General and Mormon Denial in Particular (113 pages; no abstract) - After I found the historical and other data that clearly indicated Mormonism was not what I thought it to be, I was still deeply troubled by the “spiritual experiences” I had while Mormon, how it was possible that I could have felt so certain that Mormonism was “true”, and why so many intelligent people also professed to have had similar experiences and continued to be (apparently at least) devout orthodox Mormons.  As I came to understand how denial works, I saw my Mormon spiritual and social experience in a different light, found parallel experiences in many other religious cultures, found extremely intelligent people who were literalist believers in many religious and other ideological traditions that I had no trouble dismissing as irrational, and so came to feel comfortable trusting my rational faculties over my emotional faculties as far as Mormonism was concerned.  Hence, the purpose of this essay is to examine both denial’s roots and branches or implications for those of us who wish to understand as much as possible about where our own blind spots are likely to be.

Religious Faith: Enlightening or Blinding? A Look at the Origins of Mormonism’s Professed Pursuit of Truth and Simultaneous Inculcation of Ignorance (99 pages; no abstract) - Albert Einstein said "The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge." There are many types of faith, but for purposes of this essay, I will divide them into two categories – those that enlighten us and help us to progress, and those that blind and hence retard us. The first type of faith is wonderful. It is what gets us up in the morning, keeps us learning about our world and pursuing the things we value. The second type of faith – which I will call blind faith – makes people feel comfortable but at a high cost. It causes those who possess it to become certain in their beliefs respecting things that are not certain. Thus, it robs them of the chance to understand reality, to learn, and to grow. And so it slows progress and causes bad decision making. I will argue that, regrettably, much of religious faith is blind and so has the retarding effect just indicated and that Mormonism is much closer to the bad end of the spectrum in that regard than those faithful to it will likely be comfortable admitting.

Do Smart Mormons Make Mormonism True? And Answers to Other "Tough Gospel Questions" in Reply to a Faithful Mormon Scholar’s Defence of Mormonism (90 pages; no abstract) - In a June 13, 2004 article on page B7 of the Observer/Faith & Reason section of Calgary Herald ("Mormons See Joseph Smith as genius, beloved prophet"), Dr. David C. Wright, a Professor of History at the University of Calgary and a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (commonly referred to as the “Mormon Church”) provided a classic example of the kind of defence well-educated Mormons mount in favour of their faith and its founder, Joseph Smith. I empathize with Dr. Wright's indication that the feeling in his men's group at a Mormon Church was somewhat depressed while considering David Hedley's May 30, 2004 Herald article ("Leaving the Fold") that described some aspects of Mormon history and belief, and included an excerpt from a written interview I provided to Mr. Hedley. One of the things that fascinates me about the Mormon and other similarly authoritarian, information suppressing cultures is how scholars such as Dr. Wright (or me as I was for many years as a practising tax attorney who was also a faithful Mormon), whose minds are proven to function well in contexts away from religion, have such a clearly demonstrable inability to deal in what outsiders to their faith would likely consider a rational manner with matters concerning their religious beliefs. Another way to frame this issue is to wonder how different groups of intelligent, honest, well-intentioned people could consider the same body of data and come to radically different conclusions, and why those within a faith tradition have a predictable tendency to put much less weight on evidence that convincingly disconfirms their faith on grounds that are rational to almost all outsiders, whether interested in religious matters or not. It is the nature of this insider – outsider dichotomy that has held my interest for some time. In this essay, I will attempt to shed some light on this and other topics related to Dr. Wright’s article.

Why We Believe (88 pages; no abstract) – This is my analysis of a five day series on spirituality that appeared in the Edmonton Sun during Easter week, 2006. I was interviewed extensively for the article, as were a number of people to whom I referred Jeremy Loome, who wrote it.

Second Letter to Elder Holland (80 pages, of which the first 24 are the body the letter and the remainder is additional relevant information) – To my great surprise, Elder Holland responded to my first letter with a three page, warm, conciliatory reply. However, he did not address any of the substantive issues I raised, and seemed to hold the view that my return to active participation in the Mormon Church was inevitable. This letter is the result.

Van Hale's "Mormon Miscellaneous" Radio Talk Show ( 61 pages; no abstract) - Van Hale has operated a Mormon issues talk radio program in the Salt Lake City area for more than 20 years from a "pro-Mormon" point of view. He was kind enough to invite me to initially appear on his show on September 5, 2004 and the exchange was enjoyable enough and listener response strong enough that I was invited back for a return visit. That occurred last night, on September 19. Recordings of both shows can be found at www.mormonwiki.org. This essay addresses the principle issues that were discussed during the second show, with some reference to issues discussed on the first. They are, primarily, how logic can be used to understand religious issues; how culturally induced perspective affects our understanding of things related to religion; and how religious beliefs affect our ability to find meaning in life, and to live what might fairly be regarded as a "good" life. The most important point discussed was Van's assertion that people who do not believe in the kind of god he and other Mormons do are likely to end up in the kind of immoral situation that prevailed under certain communist and Fascist regimes.

Should I Join (or Leave) the Mormon Church?: A Summary of Considerations (54 pages; no abstract) - The "join" or "don't leave" side of the debate is dominated by the Mormon indication that regardless of whether its history is true or false, Mormonism produces good families and people, provides a great atmosphere in which to raise kids, etc., and therefore it is on balance a good thing and that we should ignore its problematic past. The "leave" and "don't join" position presented by the post-Mormon community is, essentially, that Mormon culture is far from as good as advertised, and Mormons pay a high price in terms of time and other resources to procure benefits in a life after death in the Celestial Kingdom that Joseph Smith (JS) taught existed. JS's credibility is hence very important in a decision to join, or leave, Mormonism. I will discuss the reasons for which the "leave" question is exponentially more complicated in most cases than the "join" and the psychological forces that often make it impossible for believers to perceive the reality of their belief system. Finally, I will suggest that as the "faith" of those who have left Mormonism matures, they will be less threatened by and will become more compassionate toward those they left behind.

The Effect of Mormon Temple Ritual (50 pages; no abstract) – Obedience to authority is the lynchpin of the Mormon system, and the temple ritual is one of the keys to that. This essay explores primarily the marriage aspect of Mormon temple ritual, connects it to a variety of other ritual practices of other belief systems, and offers some commentary respecting the manner in which Mormon social, family and even sexual practices are controlled to an extent through temple worship and related "worthiness" rituals.

Does Mormonism Cause Irrational Belief? (49 pages; no abstract) - These are notes prepared for a set of podcasts that can be accessed through http://www.thechurchisnottrue.com/. The basic idea is that a lot of objective data can be marshalled to support that idea that Mormonism and other forms of literalist religious belief impair the ability to rationally perceive and work with evdience about the real world, and in that regard are comparable in some ways to taking a drug that is known to impair judgement.

 "I Know The Church Is True!" - The Origins of Mormon Monism and Its Defence Against Pluralism (44 pages; no abstract) - A belief that is critical to orthodox Mormonism as it is now structured is that the Mormon Church is God's one and only true church on the face of the Earth. That is, Mormon leaders and only Mormon leaders communicate with God in such a way that they hear and understand His will, so only they are able to provide His guidance to human beings. All people who do not follow the dictates of Mormon leaders live in various degrees of ignorance, innocent error or sin. And it is the duty of all Mormons to spread the message I just outlined so that others can come to know "the truth", and enjoy all of the blessings God wishes to confer upon His children.  God can only give these blessings to people who believe as Mormons believe and obey the dictates of God, as communicated by Mormon leaders.  This belief is something philosophers have termed "monist". That is, there one and only one "true" or "right" way to live. While reading about how monist belief systems are created and maintained, I learned a number of things that were helpful to me as I continue to try to understand my Mormon roots while deciding which parts of them to keep and which to attempt to get rid of. 

Daniel Peterson’s “Reflections on Secular Anti-Mormonism”: An Off-the-Cuff Reaction (42 pages; no abstract) – Daniel Peterson is a BYU professor who takes an active interest in the doings of the post-Mormon community, and is infamous for his strained defence of Mormonism. I have never corresponded with the man, and never responded to the many requests and invitations I have received to start participating on bulletin boards where he and other “defenders of the faith” hang out, because in general I believe that to be a pointless exercise for me. Back when I was trying to make sure I was not making a huge mistake by leaving Mormonism, I spent a lot of time at a place called Zion’s Lighthouse Message Board, which was the Mormon apologists' lair then. And I corresponded privately with a number of people who were well known Mormon apologists, BYU profs etc. But once I had done my "due diligence", there was no more reason to communicate with those people. They had told me all they had to tell (many times), and they did not have enough to teach me to justify continuing to interact with them. They had become, for me, just like the Young Earth creationists, JW apologists etc. However, when a couple of faithful Mormons forwarded Peterson’s essay to me with what I interpreted to be a “look at this brilliant piece of work” attitude, I decided that I should not let it stand unchallenged. Peterson’s essay reminded me of the FARMS reviews I read while I was still a faithful Mormon of Todd Compton’s book “In Sacred Loneliness”. That book deals with the Joseph Smith’s plural marriages and is still one of the best scholarly sources of information in that regard. FARMS tore the book apart. I had read a troubling review in a local newspaper, and heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that the scholars at BYU had panned it. Years later while beginning to investigate Mormonism using real scholarly sources instead of the garbage the Mormon Church sponsorsI I found Compton’s rebuttal to the FARMS reviews (See http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/7207/rev.html). In a few minutes of reading Compton I realized that his approach was reasonable, and that I had been duped. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach as I realized that as a result of trusting FARMS I had not bothering to read Compton myself and had simply been manipulated by people who were taking advantage of me. That is, by the way, the objective of much of what FARMS produces - to persuade Mormons not to bother looking at sources of information that question their point of view. So I know how even well-educated Mormons tend to believe people like Peterson, and how some of them will react when they see almost anything that presents a broader point of view with regard to the same subject matter. So, I decided to say my piece. At some point hopefully someone will see this and react as I did when I read Compton's rebuttal of FARMS. That was one of about three crucial moments for me - reading Compton and feeling accute vertigo.

Mormonism: Personal Experience and Religious Context Religion and Sexuality – Lecture Notes (36 pages; no abstract) – These are the notes I prepared for a lecture that I presented in November, 2005 as part of a course at the University of Toronto course titled “Religion and Sexuality: Creation, Transcendence, and Rules”.

Should the Mormon Church Come Clean? (33 pages; no abstract) – One of the things that has amazed me during the past couple of years as I have wrestled with the reality of my faith is the manner in which the Mormon Church has been able to prevent well-educated, intelligent people who are active Church members from becoming aware of a wide range of information directly relevant to the Church's foundational claims. This essay addresses how the Church has done this, and its moral propriety.

The Creation and Erosion of False Faith - A Timeline (30 pages; no abstract) - I was doing some file cleaning today and ran across a number of letters I wrote while leaving Mormonism. This prompted some thought with regard to how my Mormon faith was created and eroded, and I decided to record them since I have not thought about the details of this process for a long time and the perspective I have now allowed me to see some things that I had not previously seen. Most of this has to do with the principles on which this process operates, and how pressure was building that I could even perceive until I was at the end of the process and could look back.  I have included several letters in full because I want a record of them in this format. To make the timeline easier to follow, I have noted these letters and attached them at the end of the piece.

Christ's Moral System v. Institutional Religious Behaviour: Do As He Said, Not As We Do? (29 pages; no abstract) – In this essay I review various types of moral reasoning and using various religions and social parallels attempt to identify the forces that cause the Mormon Church to, for example, make honesty one of its highest values (members are required to solemnly attest to their personal honesty before being permitted to enter a temple, for example) while at the same time actively misleading both its members and others with respect to its history.

Answers to the Most Common Questions I Am Asked About Leaving Mormonism (29 pages; no abstract) - I receive a fairly steady flow of email and other communication related to my experience with Mormonism. The following is my attempt to answer some of the most common questions that are put to me in this regard.

The Risks of Leaving Mormonism or Living on its Fringes (27 pages; no abstract) - This essay considers the hypothesis that Mormon culture is set up to sabotage those who will not play by its rules

Mormon Apologetics - A Guide for the Perplexed (26 pages; no abstract) - This is my most comprehensive attempt to outline the tactics used by Mormon apologists to obscure, confuse and do whatever else will work to keep Mormons in the fold.

Martha Beck’s “Leaving the Saints” - A Review (26 pages; no abstract) - Beck’s father, Hugh Nibley, is so important to Mormonism that faithful Mormons have about as much a chance of objectively assessing the damning things Beck has to say about him as they do of objectively assessing the merits of The Book of Mormon or that Joseph Smith was quite possibly a charismatic, carpet bagging, treasure seeking, ladies’ man who found that his road to success was smoothest if he travelled as a religious leader.  When I heard about Beck’s book my ears perked up because Nibley was one of my idols while I was Mormon. For many years, my attitude (which is a common Mormon attitude) was that Hugh Nibley was so smart that if something was good enough for him, it had to be good enough for me. Almost three years ago I came to the realization that many smart people defend ideological positions that are patently ridiculous from a rational “outsider’s” point of view, and came to conclude that Hugh Nibley was mere one of these.  Nonetheless, my former admiration for him made me await Martha Beck’s book with anticipation. The issue that overshadows all else in “Leaving the Saints” is Beck’s allegation that Nibley sexually abused her as a child. This allegation is tragic from many perspectives, as well as so bizarre that some will dismiss it on that basis alone.  My purpose in this essay is to outline the case Beck has put to the public, indicate that in my view it is strong enough to be taken seriously but should not be accepted at this point, and to place this controversy in the broader Mormon context. In my view, the Beck – Nibley dispute is a microcosm of many things Mormon.

The Mormon Conception of Freedom (25 pages; no abstract) - Isaiah Berlin starts by asking the question “Why should anyone obey anyone else?” He then provides a classic definition of freedom or liberty that involves balancing my right to do things against how my actions may impact on the similar rights of other individuals. Underlying this analysis is the notion that all individuals have the same rights. Oddly enough, while I was a faithful Mormon that is how I thought of freedom, and I saw nothing in the Mormon system that was inconsistent with it. However, even a casual inspection of the Mormon system of governance discloses that both the thinkers Berlin profiles in his book “Freedom and Its Betrayal” and Mormon leaders believe that there are certain individuals (the "leaders") who by virtue of their wisdom, ability or authority, have more rights than the rest of humanity, and as a result a double moral standard exists that justifies their doing things to control the “lesser” beings by whom they are surrounded. This essay explores this and other related ideas, largely within the context of Terry Warner's book "Bonds that Make Us Free".

Mormon History in a Nutshell - And How to Deal With It: A Message for My Children (20 pages; no abstract) - I am not an historian, but have come to have great respect for those who research, and write, solid history. After having read more Mormon history than I can imagine over the past couple of years, I have decided to condense my understanding of the important facts into a bite sized document before "closing the book", as it were, on that aspect of my study respecting Mormonism. I will summarize the trends of Mormon history that are in my view most important, and incidentally those that are not likely to be mentioned to my children by loving family and community members who are faithful Mormons. Such a summary will necessarily gloss over many things, and distort others. But, I have done my best to produce something teenagers will be able to understand, and that is accurate in terms of the trends it portrays. I am certain that many will disagree with my point of view, and am not troubled by that. The primary purpose of this essay is to encourage my children, and anyone else who happens to read it, to ask questions; to expand their perspective with regard to their Mormon heritage; and most importantly, not to simply accept what they are told by their well intentioned, but largely misinformed, Mormon friends and relatives.

Cognitive Dissonance at www.fairwiki.org (18 pages; no abstract) - www.fairwiki.org is a wiki (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiki) set up for the purpose of countering any information produced about Mormonism that Mormons don’t like. That includes a lot of what I write. So, the Mormon apologists who set up fairwiki have flattered me by dedicating some print to me. This essay is a partial response. The fairwiki title, when compared to the context of the article, shows a remarkable lack of appreciation for irony as well as an amazing capacity for self-parody. I have not revisited cognitive dissonance – one of my favorite topics – for quite a while so this is as good an excuse to do so as any.

The Mormon Use of Belief Shaping Technique (17 pages; 2 page abstract) - A summary of persuasion theory in general terms, followed by an analysis of how certain well known sales or persusion technigues are employed within Mormon culture. I will agrue that this usage falls at the unethical end of the "sales" spectrum at which emotion is used to manipulate behaviour often against the interest of members of the LDS Church. This is compared to "ethical" sales technique that educates and matches legitimate needs to helpful, reasonably "priced" products, which I will suggest is the kind of assistance the Church holds itself out as providing to its members, and that the members are accordingly entitled to expect from it.

Art Therapy for Recovering Mormons (17 pages; 1 page abstract) – The DSM – IV (the manual psychiatrists use to diagnose mental dysfunction) defines the type of trauma recovering Mormons often experience within a disorder known as “religious or spiritual problem”.  Recovery from spiritual trauma, such as that caused by discovering that basic religious beliefs are false, requires that we “restory” ourselves.  That is, through ingesting new kinds of information, talking with people we trust about both our old way of perceiving ourselves and reality (our “personal mythology”) and new possibilities in that regard, we eventually become comfortable with a new way of seeing ourselves and our place in the world – we find a new personal mythology or narrative.  Some psychiatrists recommend that it is useful from a therapeutic point of view to develop our creative abilities while going through the restorying process.  I have found drawing helpful in that regard.  And during a recent trip to France, my wife and I enjoyed creative writing classes, painting classes and cooking classes.  Each of these in different ways required the suppression of the rational, linear left brain so that the creative, gestalt right brain could both perceive what was before us and resurrect memories in ways that the left brain cannot.  We both experienced a minor rebirth as a result.  It is not surprising to me that this kind of activity would be recommended by psychiatrists as a useful aid to those who are attempting to reorientate themselves after leaving a belief system like Mormonism.

"The Sacred Depths of Nature" - A Review (16 page; no abstract): This is the single shortest and most lucid big picture analysis of "reality" I have found. Goodenough starts with the big bang and then flips through how life might have come into being and evolutionary theory in a few short chapters. She reviews a lot of material with which I was familiar using novel examples to explain concepts I do not remember grasping before as I now do thanks to her, and breaks lots of new ground for me. The book is well worth reading for its scientific content, and is pitched at a level that is easily understandable for those who like me do not have an extensive science background. And some of the book's best parts are in the "meditations" found at the end of each chapter. That is, Goodenough lays out a scienfitic concept in a chapter, and then follows it with texts from hymns, philosophers, literature and her personal experience that connect the theoretical to the emotional foundations of life.

Review of April 2003 Sunstone Article by Keith Norman Entitled “The ‘T’ Word: Trading our Birthright for a Mess of Certainty” (16 pages; no abstract) – Norman's thought provoking article is critical of the Mormon tendency toward certainty and away from what he believes is a "real" testimony. I agree with much of what he says, but cannot go all the way down the road he is on.

Creative Destruction - Or, How to Renovate Your Religion (16 pages; no abstract) - Changing one's religious perspective is difficult. The concept of creative destruction from economics helps us to understand how that process works, and why the pain it causes is worthwhile. Useful analogies can also be drain from evolutionary theory.

A Glimpse Into the Mormon Apologetic Mind (16 pages; 1 page abstract) - The role of Michel de Montaigne's role as a Catholic apologist in the 16th century Counter Reformation bears a striking resemblance to that now played by many Mormon apologists. The problem is the same: Certain traditional beliefs have been exposed as likely false by new information. And, the apologetic solution is similar: Allege that we cannot be sure of anything so we should stick with our traditions because they have always "worked" for our social group; and we should not change until God makes it clear that we should. Hence, in both current Mormon apologia and the Counter Reformation, the status quo wins by default.